College Football Realignment

Beware the ides of March. No, not you Julius Ceasar. I’m talking to the conference commissioners of the Big 12, Big East and mid-major conferences everywhere. As of this writing, the Big 12 is mostly likely going to be down to the Small 4. The Big East has already lost 2 teams (Syracuse and Pittsburgh) to the ACC and could lose two more (Connecticut and Rutgers) in the coming months. The ripple effect of teams leaving the major conferences will endanger mid-majors everywhere as conference commissioners scramble to find replacements.

So far, the only mid-major conference affected by realignment is the Mountain West which lost Utah to the Pac-12 and Texas Christian to the (dying) Big East. Expect consistently relevant mid-majors such as Boise State, Fresno State, Houston, and some other mid-major teams I can’t name because I don’t watch them play to get a call from conference commissioners reeling from having their best teams poached.

What does the all the realignment mean?

Conference realignment is clearing the way for a potential playoff in college football which is reason for fans everywhere to rejoice. For years, the Big East winner has been scrutinized for its automatic BCS bowl bid because of the Big East’s status as an Automatic Qualifying (AQ) BCS conference. It’s hard to believe that the new, underwhelming Big East will receive any less scrutiny once the realignment dust settles. The Big 12 (or whatever they rename themselves when they settle on a number of teams) will be riding shotgun with the Big East in the car of AQ conferences with beyond questionable status as an automatic qualifier. The super conferences that result from realignment (most likely a PAC 16, a 16 team ACC, and a 16 team SEC) will have conference runner-ups (and even 3^rd and 4^th place finishers) that have a more legitimate claim to a BCS bowl than any team that wins the floundering Big East or Big Whatever 12.

Hopefully, these super conferences will pressure their college presidents to find the most fair way to determine BCS bowl bids and ultimately the national championship: a playoff system. Talk of a playoff system is almost as old as college football itself, but the dramatic changes from conference realignment may be the impetus that the college presidents need to finally opt-in to a playoff. Of course, this is all just rampant speculation here at Onions! (you can become an Onions! insider for speculation free posts) and conference realignment may not be a harbinger of a playoff system at all. Only time will tell. In the meanwhile, conference commissioners beware the Ides of March

Teach Me How To Doug Davis

2011's College Basketball's Conference Tourney Week's best moment came not in a tournament but in the Ivy League Playoff Game when good defeated evil. The world has been righted as order was restored and Harvard was kept away from the tournament as it should be. (Dear Jeremy Schaap, Please remove your lips from Cambridge. Schools other than Harvard produce as many great figures. Princeton has more than Brooke Shields and James Madison; see Woodrow Wilson, F. Scott Fitzgerald, and current SC justices Sotomayor, Kagan, and Alito). Down 1 point, Douglas Davis hit the game winner after his previous drive to the hole was blocked, which set up the out of bounds play with 2.8 left. A great fake and miracle shot sent the Tigers dancing and everyone in orange and black was dancing (Even press row got into celebrating). This was the best game/moment/court storming of the previous two weeks and the whole year. Let's review why this game was the best of the year:
1. These teams earned their way to get to an important game by not getting hot in 3 or 4 games but by sustaining excellence over a 14 game conference schedule. This bid was truly earned and all Ivy teams had an equal chance of obtaining it.
2. It was a game played at an incredibly intense level. While Harvard led from about the last 8 minutes of the 1st half to the last five minutes, the last five was a true heavyweight fight. Rewatch those last five games on ESPN3. Even though these teams could both get beat by a team with a big frontcourt, they both played with the mindset that they should win.
3. The Fans brought the NOISE (despite no Mr. Miyagi). Yale stadium officials had to resort to a South American and Eastern European soccer crowd control technique. The notorious Crimson and Tiger student sections had to be separated by an empty bleachers due to their intense hatred of each other (at least they could both agree at the beginning of the game with a joint "Yale Sucks" chant). The crowd was intense the whole game and the students stood the entire game. A neutral court storming that was instantaneous might have revived the tradition - this was pure emotion showing you how much Princeton wanted to win after suffering the Joe Scott Era. Plus, it didn't need Gus Johnson screaming to send it to the top of SportCenter's Top 10 Plays.
4. Sydney Johnson - The man can do no wrong even in his press conference. He is pure Princeton ("I Love Princeton Basketball"). When asked about Harvard's chances, he responded: “I know that we deserve one. I so appreciate what Harvard accomplished, and you almost pull for them. It would have ended a long drought for them. But I hope we can celebrate what this group has done at Princeton.” The man-god is all about the orange and black. He hit big shots in his time as point guard and was the Tigers' leading scoring in the upset of UCLA in 1996. Now he led the Tigers in their biggest win since then. Princeton fans are hoping he doesn't jump ship after taking the worst team in Princeton history three years ago to top of the Ivies.
5. Good over Evil - Harvard was the hip team of Boston. Bob Ryan decided to take in a game even though he is too much of a bigshot to make any other appearance. Bill Simmons watched his first Harvard game despite growing up in Boston. This was the bandwagon team of Boston. (Editor's Note: Dick Vitale jumped on the Princeton bandwagon during the epic NCAA First Round 1989 Princeton-Georgetown showdown.) Harvard wanted sympathy but choked it away. Unless the committee decides that their expansion to 68 teams means extra mid-major spots and not major conferences, Harvard will not be going to the NCAAs for their first time since 1946. Yes they have wins over BU, Colorado, and the mighty MIT (unfortunately Cal Tech didn't want to hurt their RPI), but also lost to Yale and any other good team (UConn, GMU, Michigan, Princeton). They only have a chance if the committee really wants a team that has not really played a tough schedule. For all the stuff New Jersey gets, it helped America by keeping Red Sox Nation from infiltrating other sports.
It might be said that everything wrong with college athletics began with the Ivy League, but everything right was displayed yesterday in the Yale Gym.

All About the NBA

After watching the NBA all-star game festivities this weekend, I realized two things:

1. The NBA has the best all-star weekend in all of sports because their weekend showcases the NBA's athleticism and the "competitive" portion of this weekend actually is entertaining. Through the dunk contest (won by Los Angeles Clippers' big man Blake Griffin; more on that later) and the skills competition (won by the Golden State Warriors Stephen Curry) fans get to see the athleticism and skill of players in isolation without the role of rules such as traveling (wait? they already don't call traveling in the NBA?). And although most of the actual all-star game is a school-yard, ball-handlers game (note the obscene amount of ATTEMPTED alley-oops) the last five minutes of the game are usually very competitive and you can tell that winning/losing means something to the players. No other professional sports league can pretend to claim those two things about their all-star weekend.

quick slam-dunk contest/Blake Griffin point: I like Blake Griffin's game and his ferocious dunks on SportsCenter are always a treat, but he didn't have the best dunks in the competition. This dunk contest was more of a testament of Blake's increasing popularity (like Justin Beiber winning the MVP of the celebrity all-star game) as the media and fans just handed over the trophy when the other contestants went out there and truly performed more impressive dunks.

2. I have still not written an article about the state of the NBA union. For those that have been paying attention to the NBA, the state of the union is strong (with the obvious exception of the looming breakdown over labor negotiations between the league and players. Without the NBA, my sanity is up in the air; to the the rest of the world: you have been warned). This league is brimming with talent (young and old) at virtually every position and parity is up (despite the presence of a handful of juggernaut teams), ensuring a more entertaining visual experience for fans and commentators alike. That said, there are only a handful of teams and players that have dominated the story lines thus far. Here's a quick run-down of teams (we'll have a post about players later this week) that have mattered the most in the 2010-2011 NBA season:

Teams:

Los Angeles Lakers (38-19, 1st in Pacific Conference, 3rd in Western Conference)

The reigning two-time NBA champions are never one to shy away from the spotlight. This year the Lakers have had their usual amount of controversy (Ron Artest's woeful shooting, Kobe calling out teammates, Phil Jackson/teammates calling out Kobe, to name a few) but it has been followed by an uncharacteristic amount of losing. The Lake Show have had their first 4-game losing streak in the Pau Gasol era as well as a handful of 3-game losing streaks. Kobe's freshness during the all-star game, particularly his repeated drives to the basket (he attempted almost a dozen field goals inside of 6 feet, making 8), came as a welcome sight. Despite the escalating difficulty of their schedule,  look for the Lakers to start playing more consistent basketball as we get closer to the playoffs

San Antonio Spurs (46-10, 1st in Southwest Division, 1st in Western Conference, Best Record in the NBA)

Inexplicably, Father Time has overlooked the Spurs as the 4th oldest team (weighted by minutes played, thanks hoopism.com) has jumped out of the gates and not looked back. With perennial all-star Tim Duncan playing below his lofty standards for much of the season the Spurs have been able to amass the best record in the NBA doing what they do best: paying attention to detail and playing "within" themselves. Head coach Gregg Popovich has this team working hard on both ends of the floor (never a surprise on defense, but their offense has been more potent than in past years) and every Spurs player knows his role. I think the Spurs will start to rest their players for the playoffs as their stranglehold on the best record in the NBA is all but complete

Boston Celtics (40-14, 1st in Atlantic Division, 1st in Eastern Conference)


Boston are playing like the San Antonio Spurs-Eastern Conference Version. Their methodical consistency on the defensive end combined with the great playmaking from their "Big 3" and point guard Rajon Rondo are a tough combination to beat night-in and night-out. The Celts are the unquestioned favorite in the East and all competitors in the Eastern Conference know that the road to the NBA finals as the Eastern Conference representative goes through Boston. Especially this next team...

Miami Heat (41-15, 1st in Southeast Division, 2nd in Eastern Conference, Brangelina like media coverage)

The Heat trio of LeBron James, Dwyane Wade (not a mis-spelling, that's how he spells his name) and Chris Bosh have received an un-real amount of scrutiny this year with the Carmelo Anthony trade saga a VERY distant second as far as NBA news print is concerned. After starting the season 9-8, the Heat have banded together to go 32-7, including winning an NBA season high 21 games in a row. In fact, their record might have been more impressive if not for each of the "Heatles" (the self-styled nickname of Miami's "Big 3") missing at least one game and important role players like Mike Miller and Udonis Haslem missing significant time. Now that they Heat are rolling, they know what they have to do, beat Boston (they are 0-3 in 3 tries this year...or they could hope that Boston is upset in the early rounds of the playoffs. I wouldn't hold my breath waiting for that scenario to happen) if they want to battle for an NBA championship this June.

With no offense to other teams having a great year (the Oklahoma City Thunder, Dallas Mavericks, Chicago Bulls, Orlando Magic to name a few), these are really the only 4 teams that have a chance to win the 2011 NBA championship. Barring injury to important players or another unforeseen disaster, I expect these teams to be the NBA's "final four" in a couple of months. I haven't settled on a favorite out of these teams (other than my irrational bias for the Lakers telling me that they are the best of this bunch) and it will be exciting to watch the final third of the season develop.

What excluded team do you think has the best chance of crashing this "final four" bracket that I have presented?

VY's Texts - Jeff Fisher Edition

Soon after Jeff Fisher and the Titans parted ways, Onions got in contact with VY through his preferred medium of communication, text messages. We are sincerely sorry for delaying get this up. Here is a transcript of our texting.

Onions: So what do you think about Jeff Fisher leaving the Titans?
VY: VY conquers all h8ers. Mustache man be hating the VY so Buddy kicked him out.
Onions: Are you coming back to the Titans?
VY: VY is the elite qb everyone be looking for. VY better than Brady and Manning and old man Collins. VY can win a Super Bowl with a team full of VYs.
Onions: Do you have a team you want to go to?
VY: VY wins. Look at the Rose Bowl tape. VY is greatest player ever.
Onions: We hear you have a new project outside of football?
VY: VY got a new show on the Longhorn Network: VY and the Rose Bowl
Onions: What happens on this show?
VY: VY talks about the Rose Bowl and best Rose Bowl player ever, VY. We got 20 episodes and probably more.
Onions: So 30 minutes of you talking about your Rose Bowl performances for 20+ episodes?
VY: VY talks for an hour with gust appearances of Jamaal “I’m Jaaaaaamaaaaaal” Charles. Old Man Mack wanted to talk but I told him to hit on other people’s mommas elsewhere.
Onions: Thrilling. What other ventures you doing?
VY: VY be grilling right now. Come to VY’s Steak House in the Capital of the World, Austin. VY grills steaks like Mack did for my mama. That be why I came to Texas.
VY Sends Picture Message:

Onions: Thanks Vince? You have anything else to say?
VY: You be wasting the VY time. Time to hit the Patron and make it rain in this club.

Super Bowl Shuffle

No we're not the 1985 Chicago Bears, but we ain't here to cause no trouble, we're just here to do the Super Bowl Shuffle

The Special One and Mr. Miyagi have decided to team up to break it down really funky this week by combining to do a Super Bowl Preview. The Special One is live on the ground in Dallas and has some breaking news (told you we are credible journalists), up-to-the-minute info about the game.

The Special One (TSO): I'm here at Highland Park High School because this rich kids high school is the only place with indoor football practice facilities in the city of Dallas (Well done Southern Methodist University and Dallas Cowboys. How do these two not have indoor practice facilities? Oh wait. The Cowboys have a good excuse...) and I'm happy to report that the snow and ice are melting

Mr. Miyagi (MM): That's fantastic, cities in the south like Dallas are less equipped to take on the snow than Michael Jackson was for parenting (too soon?).

TSO: No kidding, downtown Dallas and the freeways between Forth Worth and Dallas are open, but no one is reporting this because outside of those areas it is still covered in ice and snow

MM: This why the Super Bowl must ALWAYS be played in a warm weather city...

TSO: Odds-makers in Vegas have the line at Packers -3, you think they are 3 points better than this Steelers team?

MM: On a neutral field that happens to be in a dome? Yes, the Packers should be the favorite. If they had played their same schedule in a dome like an Atlanta or New Orleans (and hadn't had so many freak injuries), this Packers team might have had a 14 win regular season

TSO:  I don't disagree that this Packers team can score at will, the Steelers might have the right defensive scheme and personnel to keep them in check. Polamalu is back in charge of that D and he is making big plays. Also, don't sleep on their incredibly fast receiving core

MM: IF anyone can slow down this Packers team, the Steelers have the best shot, but Polamalu is hurt. Right now, the only thing Polamalu is head and shoulders above is dandruff. Aaron Rodgers will be sporting the "championship belt" all night long

TSO: Lets not count out the Steelers offense. Big Ben is back and hitting his receivers. He doesn't go down and blows past any defense. Mendenhall ran all over the Jets D. This offense is capable of keeping up with the Packers if the D gets some stops.\

MM: Roethlisberger is more hype than substance in the postseason. Obviously, you can't discount his 2 Super Bowl wins and playoff win-loss record, but this is a guy with a career playoff rating of 85.4 (not stellar) and 17 TDs to 14 INTs. He's going to make mistakes on Super Bowl Sunday and will hurt his team.

TSO: As I said, if the D makes stops, they can be in this game. The O-Line could open up some holes for Mendenhall and get that running game going. Sure Pouncey looks to be out but this is a well coached team. Well coached teams minimize their mistakes and take advantage of others. Who doesn't want Blade (Tomlin) to coach your team.

MM: So what do you think the Packers have to do to win?

TSO: The Packers need to come in and be the team that wins in dome games. I think the game comes down to the secondary. Can their DBs handle the speed that is Mike Wallace and Emmanuel Sanders in addition to Hines Ward? If they shut down the receivers make Roethlisberger to force it, then the Steelers are in big trouble and the Packers win. What do you think the Steelers have to do to win?

MM: I think they need to turn the Packers into a one-dimensional team. Packers running back James Starks had that great game in the Philadelphia win and hasn't been as explosive since. If the Steelers can force Packers QB Aaron Rodgers into having to make EVERY throw and be responsible for EVERY first down, they may be able to get the turnovers they need to win. We've gone through how each team can win, but who do you think will win tomorrow?

TSO: After all of that, I have to take the Packers. That offense in the Jerrydome should be unstoppable unless Jerry hates Wisconsin.  

MM: I have to agree, the Packers are the best team in this game with all that they bring to the table on offense AND defense. Packers LB Clay Matthews lost the Associated Press Defensive Player of the Year Award to Troy Polamalu by 2 votes (he should have won in my humble opinion, he played the whole year whereas Polamalu missed a handful of games/was hurt and ineffective in others) and the Packers defense will be the story of the day as they repeatedly harass and make life difficult for Big Ben. I'm picking Packers by 10.

T$ Trys Fantasy Basketball

Hey Onion! heads (new name for readers, give it a try, it'll grow on you), after years of protest, we finally convinced T$ to play fantasy sports online. He's in our fantasy basketball league and he wrote about his experience so far. Here is T$'s take on fantasy basketball/sports:

What’s the first thing you think of when you hear fantasy basketball? Nerdy young men checking their computers all day long? Jocks huddled around a plasma watching the NBA on TNT? Blake Griffin leaping astronomically high to slam it home?

After having some reservations, I decided to bite the bullet and partake in my first fantasy sports experience. I was hesitant at first, weary of both time commitments and the notion that I would favor the importance of individual statistics over the aesthetic love of the game and my beloved teams, the Golden State Warriors and San Antonio Spurs. I bought into a league formed by few college friends not knowing at all how to ‘play’ fantasy basketball.

My fantasy basketball experience was rocky from the start. I missed the draft due to work commitments and was stuck with a team that HAL 9000 had chosen. Even the NHL all-star game captains had a chance to choose their team!!! I decided to persevere through my robotic squad, conscience of the fact that I had sacrificed the equivalent of $10 (tortoise shelled Vans sunglasses) to matchup against such fantasy heavyweights as ‘Pat Summit's Pussy,’ ‘DICK SMASH’ and ‘Wax On Wax Off.’ Luckily I had managed to snag Monta Ellis of the Warriors and Manu Ginobili of the Spurs. The libertarian of fantasy basketball, I chose to maintain a ‘hands off’ policy in terms of my squad. Bad idea. For those that don’t know about fantasy basketball, the Yahoo Sports edition, each week one team is matched up against another. Statistics from NBA players playing in actual games during the week are compiled and compared to an opponent’s players/team for that given week. 9 statistical categories are tallied, ranging from field goal percentage, turnovers, total points, rebounds, blocks, assists, steals, free throw percentage, three point field goals made and free throw percentage. Balance is key, as wins in the actual fantasy league are determined by each statistical matchup win. One can win 6 categories to 3, losing in the points, rebounds and assists column but winning in every category.

Eventually I was able to spend more time managing my team, trading some players to build a more balanced team. I had to sacrifice Manu for the assists and steals of John Wall and the all-around game of Lamar Odom. Even though I still have players like Andre Iguadala, I’ve also added to my roster exciting players like DeMar DeRozan and Andrew Bogut. I went from last place in my league to 6th place, the final playoff spot after deciding to concentrate some time on my roster and lineup each week.  Fantasy Basketball can be a daily chore, but the hour a week or so of determining who starts in your lineup keeps you aware and interested in the NBA all season long. I have a new appreciation for the League coupled with a hobby that I share with my friends. The trash talk between fantasy league owners is anther bonus that my immature friends and I also enjoy. Basically, fantasy basketball and I have a Carl Weathers – Arnold Schwarzenegger relationship.  I will definitely play fantasy basketball gain in the future, just don't expect me to commit to fantasy football or fantasy jai alai!!!

NFL Conference Championship Preview

It's the final four, NFL style. This Sunday the last four teams left in the NFL playoffs face each other for the right to go to the Superbowl. A championship weekend this big meant that Mr. Miyagi and the Special One had to collaborate to cover every angle (insert Rex Ryan foot-fetish camera man joke here). Check out Mr. Miyagi's NFC Conference Championship preview and the Special One's AFC Conference Championship preview.

NFC Conference Championship

#2 Chicago vs. #6 Green Bay

Soldier Field, Chicago, Illinois

Sunday 23rd January 2011 at 3 PM 

And then there were 2…

The last two teams standing in the NFC are the Green Bay Packers and the Chicago Bears. These teams know plenty about one another because they are in the same division (NFC North) and have already played each other twice. In week 3 the Bears were victorious 20-17 at home while the Packers won 10-3 in week 17. The week 17 game was very important to the Packers because they needed to win it in order to qualify for the playoffs.  The Bears had already wrapped up the #2 seed in the NFC and a home bye, but played their starters anyway because they wanted to knock the Pack out of the playoffs. While the Packers had everything to lose and the Bears had nothing to gain, both teams played hard  and I think we could learn a lot from looking at that game. Basically, the Packers are better and they should earn a berth in the Superbowl.

Green Bay is fresh off giving the #1 seed Atlanta Falcons a beat down on the road. Packers QB Aaron Rodgers was extremely impressive and moved the ball at will. Ron “Jaws” Jaworski tells me (well, he told Wilbon and Kornheiser on PTI, but they are basically me…) that 15 times the Falcons had a free rusher get to Rodgers and on those 15 plays Rodgers completed 13 of 15 passes for 152 yards and 2 touchdowns. Rodgers is easily the hottest player in the playoffs and the Pack also have who might be the hottest defensive player in the playoffs, undrafted CB Tramon Williams, who has 3 interceptions and 1 TD in two playoff games.

Meanwhile, the Bears beat the 8-9 Seattle Seahawks at home in QB Jay Cutler’s first postseason win, at any level of football (including Madden, I hear Cutler is the WORST at Madden…). The Bears looked every bit the #2 seed they are last weekend and terrorized the Seahawks en route to a 35-24 win. But, this weekend the Bears don’t have the benefit of playing the only football team in the history of football to play 18 games and lose 10 (Random stat of the week).

How will it play out? Well, we here at Onions! are the proud owners of a crystal ball and we like to break it out on occasions like this.

The Packers get to their first Superbowl in the post Brett Favre era by beating the bears 28-13. Write it down! Go tell your bookie! And send Onions! a check for 5% of your take…

AFC Conference Championship

#2 Pittsburgh vs. #6 New York

Heinz Field, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania

Sunday 23rd January 2011 at 6:30 PM

The Sanchize vs. the Rapesleberger; Loud and foot loving Rex Ryan vs. Stoic, presumably non-foot fetishist Mike Tomlin; Cromartie’s Love of Creating Life vs. Harrison’s Love of Taking Life Away

The Jets stomped the Patriots in Gillette Stadium last week to win 28-21. A couple of foot-in-mouth decisions by Rex Ryan and his crew gave the Patriots another chance in the fourth but this game was pretty much over after Santonio Holmes decided to make Sanchez look like Brady instead of Sexy Rexy Grossman. Sanchez does not stand with the elite quarterbacks but he only needs to be Trent Dilfer good (remember him). Throw in the general area of your receivers but not close to defenders or don’t lose games. New York’s D can curbstomp you to the ground (ask Brady) but need help from the offense. When the offense makes mistakes, the defense slips and plays like the Texans secondary (OK maybe not that historically bad). Make no mistakes and the Jets have a firm footing to play their game and win. Plus, who does not want more fetishly-good Rex Ryan press conferences.

In another memorable chapter of their hard-hitting series, Pittsburgh surged from a first half deficit to beat the Ravens 31-24. Ben Roethlisberger slung passes to all his willing receivers. He got little help from his run game (Mendenhall 20 carries for 46 yds). Pittsburgh’s defense swarmed the Ravens’ ball carriers preventing them from penetrating the end zone in the second half. Surely, Polamalu and company will make the Jets turn the ball over but can the offense depend on just Big Ben’s arm. Roethlisberger rarely takes no for an anwer and does all he can to make plays happen even forcing it at times.

Prediction: The offenses will probably struggle to put points up. Jets win in an ugly 12-10 game because as Rex Ryan says, “Football is a game of feet not yards.”

That leaves us with the Packers and the Jets in Dallas squaring off for Superbowl 45. CAN'T WAIT!

Weekly Sports Style - Past Week's Worst Edition

Face: Al Davis- When the zombie outbreak occurs in 2012, Al Davis is Patient Zero.


Place: University of Oregon's Basketball Court: Onions supports Oregon and Nike's bold football uniforms, but this atrocity makes us hesitate to support this partnership. It looks like the designer saw his three year old throw up on a wooden table and thought it looked good. The trees supposedly represent their 1939 National Championship team, "The Tall Firs," which seems out of place in a school that wants to be the future and not care for the past. Finally, where is the half court line?


Threads: Venus Williams' Yellow Dress - Yes, Venus that was the same face we had when we saw that dress. Who knew that by missing tournaments due to injury since last year's US Open meant that you could not afford a dress without holes. The cross hatch looked like yellow duct tape. The dress caused Pam Shriver to wonder how much weight Venus gained.


Seats: Super Bowl Party Plaza- You can be this close to the game when you only pay $200(might be closer than the nosebleeds). Also, you get to watch the Super Bowl on a big TV (but not bigger than those indoors). How could you beat this deal? Watching it indoors with your friends on comfortable chairs for free.

Bowl Season Recap

Ok, to say that it's been too long since I've written a blog post is an understatement. We here at Onions! encountered a bit of erratic behavior at the conclusion of 2010 and posts went the way of the dinosaur. Never fear 2011 is a new year (new decade even) and like the 9-8 Miami Heat, we're gonna right the ship. Before you know it, we'll be the hottest team in the league and people will feel stupid that they ever questioned how good we could be. But, I digress, it's time to give the people what they came for. I present, the first Onions! post of 2011!

Lately, when it came to writing blog posts, I needed a little help staying in the game and turned to a trusty friend. No, not Levitra, college football. I can write about college football until my face turns blue (it is now) and I figured a bowl season recap was in order. No, we're not going through all 998,239 bowls that were played this holiday season, we're going to recap some of the games that I think mattered.

The Tostitos BCS National Championship Game

#1.  Auburn 22 –  #2. Oregon 19

This year’s BCS championship between the undisputed #1 and #2 teams in the country (Texas Christian fans can go f**k themselves if they think that TCU was better than either one of these teams) was supposed to be akin to an old-school gunfight at the O.K. Corral. There were supposed to be points early and often, in fact,  many experts projected the actual final score to be surpassed in the 2^nd or 3^rd quarter. Instead, the Auburn and Oregon defenses really showed up and dictated play to the offenses much more than expected (note: a 5 week layoff between the final regular season game/conference championship game and the National Championship Game is entirely too long. There is nothing like this in all of sports. The NFL has one week off before the Super Bowl, the NBA doesn’t have any artificially scheduled time between the conference finals and the NBA finals, the NHL…wait, I have NO CLUE (nor do I remotely care) what the NHL does between the conference finals and the Stanley Cup finals. The side of the ball most disadvantaged by these long layoffs is undeniably the offense. Offensive timing, crispness, and play-calling rhythm were noticeably absent for long stretches of this championship game and past championship games as well).  

This year was also the first in my memory where I didn’t actively root for one team to lose/win, I was captivated by two story lines: Auburn’s Cameron Newton’s controversy plagued Heisman Trophy season and trendy Oregon (seriously, their Nike uniforms are works of ART) trying to win its first national championship. Oregon’s play calling was everything Herm Edwards would’ve hoped for and more. Without a doubt, Oregon PLAYED TO WIN THE GAME! Oregon ran a reverse on a kick-off (and a fake reverse), a successful fake punt, and numerous misdirection plays that illustrated Oregon coach Chip Kelly’s desire to leave no stone unturned in the playbook. I would not have been upset with an Oregon victory though I felt that Auburn was the superior team (despite Auburn’s hyper-conservative play calling. Henry Kissinger, Rush Limbaugh and Sean Hannity all thought the Auburn play-calling was disgustingly conservative…)

Onions! Bowl of the Year

Little Caesar’s Bowl

Florida International University 34 – Toledo 32

Props to Oregon who played to win the game (See Herm Edwards link above) but Auburn’s conservative play calling did not allow the National Championship Game to qualify for the Onions! Bowl of the Year. Instead, that honor goes to the Little Caesar’s Bowl (pizza pizza?) played in Detroit, Michigan and featuring Toledo and Florida International. These teams don’t come from AQ conferences (quick note: AQ stands for Automatic Qualifying or BCS conferences. It’s a just another jargon-y way that college football elites have created to elevate themselves above the masses.) but they held their own in the mid-major MAC and Sun Belt conference with Toledo going 7-1 in the MAC and Florida International going 6-2 in the Sun Belt. Now, normally, I would rail against the proliferation of bowls (rant begin) that allows a 7-6 team (Florida International) to play in a bowl. I mean, we’re rewarding people for winning 54% of their games. When’s the last time you were rewarded for finishing 54% of anything in life? Never? That’s what I thought (rant end). But the respectable conference records (even in conferences that don’t blow your socks off) of each team allowed me to tune in initially and the post-Christmas fireworks that followed in the game kept me on ESPN (it also doesn’t hurt that there is NOTHING else on tv the day after Christmas).

This game started out ordinarily enough. Toledo built a 24-7 lead early in the 3^rd Quarter and looked to be running away with the game. But then, Florida International’s T.Y. Hilton returned a kickoff 89 yards to the house after Toledo’s field goal and made the score 24-14. FIU then had a solid defensive possession and pulled within a field goal on their ensuing possession after T.Y. Hilton caught a 10 yd TD pass. Before I knew it, there were 3 minutes left in the 4^th Quarter and FIU held a 31 to 24 edge. Toledo responded with an amazing 2 minute TD drive and 2 point conversion to regain the lead 32 to 31 with 1:14 seconds left, but the drama in this game was far from over.

Toledo looked to have the game sealed following a 2^nd down sack and 3^rd down incompletion by FIU. FIU was facing a 4^th and 17 with 41 seconds remaining and resorted to one of my favorite football plays of all-time, the hook-and-lateral (video demonstration). The play was successful for 17 yards and a few inches and gave FIU new life with a fresh set of downs. A big pass and a couple of runs later and FIU had set up a 34 yard field goal to win the game. Jack Griffin’s 34 yard field goal sealed an improbable win for FIU, a team that went from down 21 to up 8 and down 1 with less than a minute left. Great game by FIU and Toledo, I watch so many sporting events where I want both teams to lose because of their awful style of play. It’s very rare that I watch a game where I wish that both teams could have walked away winners.