Chink in the NFL's armor

Baseball might be America’s pastime, but the NFL is clearly the cash cow of U.S. sports. With league revenues on pace to break the $10 billion barrier (MLB, NBA, and the NHL aren’t close) and the average value of its franchises sitting comfortably at $1 billion (once again, only major sport that can make that claim), the NFL is a safer bet to print money than the U.S. Treasury.  Hell, the Browns were sold for $1 billion last week and they’re in Cleveland (for now, anyways).

The NFL’s financial prosperity is connected to a well-managed public image that believes the league’s front office is driven by a fair-minded, common sense approach. However, the latest developments in the Bountygate scandal threaten that image of the NFL and its most identifiable figure, Commissioner Roger Goodell.  Evidence is mounting that the league is mishandling this crucial scandal.

The opening punch:

Suspended New Orleans Saints' linebacker Jonathan Vilma deserves recognition for consistently maintaining his innocence and demonstrating a willingness to clear his name throughout this scandal. The support of his teammates, coaching staff and organization should not be understated either. By filing a defamation of character lawsuit against Goodell (and refusing to drop it), Vilma created leverage by threatening the public’s view of the NFL as an impartial arbitrator. In recent years the NFL, and Goodell in particular, gained notoriety for giving players the most punitive player conduct punishments in U.S. sports. In fact, 4 of the 8 longest non-substance-abuse suspensions in the history of the NFL are during the Goodell era.  Players consistently grumble (here, here and here...guessing the Steelers aren't sending the Goodells a Christmas card this year...) that the entire process is akin to a kangaroo court because Goodell is simultaneously judge, jury and executioner.

The haymaker:

Sure, Vilma and other individuals implicated in Bountygate levied harsh criticisms at Roger Goodell. But it was Saints' quarterback (and media darling) Drew Brees that landed a punch that really stunned the commish. In late June, Brees delivered this salvo on Letterman:

"Put forth the facts, the truth, and if indeed there was a pay-to-injure scheme, then people will get punished, and if there's not, then let's exonerate these men because, at this point, it seems like it's a smear campaign...We're dragging them through the mud; we're ruining their reputations and careers with no true evidence."

When the guy with the largest guaranteed contract in your sport is speaking out against you, ears throughout the world of sports perk up. As soon as Brees’ quote made the airwaves, the 24/7 media cycle devoured it. By the end of that week, every elite NFL player that interviewed on the major networks was asked about Brees’ comment. After Brees spoke out against the commissioner, it was time for every player to put up or shut up. And the NFL isn’t home to the shut up type.

The score card:

Two days ago, news broke that the NFL was negotiating to reduce Vilma’s season-long 16 game suspension to 8 games. Reports also indicate that Vilma’s suspended compatriots (Browns linebacker Scott Fujita, Green Bay defensive tackle Anthony Hargrove and Saints' defensive end Will Smith) may also have their suspensions reduced.

Regardless of the length of suspension he receives, Vilma’s challenge to Goodell’s expansive powers to discipline player conduct is a victory for players. Of course, the NFL maintains that "No such settlement offer has been made. We will continue to respect the court proceedings on this matter and have no further comment at this time"

But where there's smoke, there's fire. These Bountygate suspensions are down for the count

NFL Roots

The NFL TOTALLY REDEEMS ITSELF!!!

It’s that time of year again. For the past few years I keep telling myself that I’m not going to watch the NFL and that I fancy college football to THE NATIONAL FOOTBALL LEAGUE. Then the BCS goes Kratos on itself , killing the gift of college spirit and unpredictability in what is a heaping pile of yeti manure that is the BCS and its endless series of meaningless/boring bowl games.

The NFL has provided many a story during its ‘bowl’ season, continuing to be the unstoppable behemoth that consistently dominates airwaves, televisions, sports blogs and print media. Why do I keep watching? Why do I listen in my room to WFAN even though I don’t particularly care for the New York Giants or Green Bay Packers? Why did I believe that Tim Bebow, after his Broncos smote the Steelers in an epic overtime duel, be able to both cast out demons and have a chance at defeating Mr. Uggs himself, Tom Brady? Something about the NFL just keeps me coming back for seconds and thirds like I’m Jamarcus Russell at that shady Chinese buffet down the street.

How about the 49ers – Saints contest? Are you kidding me? I was glued to the radio, KNBR 680, screaming along with commentators Ted Robinson and Eric Davis when Vernon ‘The Centaur’ Davis hauled in his epic snag. You know that 49ers Coach Harbaugh sat Alex Smith down before the game and gave him a Coach Riley speech for the ages. The Bayou Boys and the Bay Area Bombers gave us one for the ages: crunching hits, horrible tackling, naked 20+ yard bootlegs, multiple 4th quarter lead changes, crying on the sideline. It felt like a college game! Same could be said for most of the Packers-Giants contest. Granted, there were some yawners for games (Patriots simultaneously thumping the Tebow’s Broncos while simultaneously filming the newest Diary of a Wimpy Kid movie and the Texans-Ravens making tar go up a cold hill in December seem more entertaining), but still, the NFL got it done.

I can’t wait for next weekend’s conference showdowns.

Weekend Onions!

Ok, this is just unacceptable. THREE weeks without "Weekend Onions!"? All I can say for myself is, like Mark McGuire, I'm not here to talk about the past.

Moving on, two weekends ago, the "Mangenius", Cleveland Brown's head coach Eric Mangini, decided to break into the weekend onions report with a delicious fake punt.

Let's set the stage for the Mangenius' trickeration:

• Leading the New Orleans Saints 10-3 in the 2nd quarter, the Browns are facing a 4th and 6  pinned back on their OWN 23
• With only 5:32 left in the half, the conventional wisdom says kick the punt and play defense
• The Mangenius bucks conventional wisdom and goes for the final move to complete the road upset: a huge play on special teams
• The end result: this 68-yard run by the punter Reggie Hodges right down Main Street to the New Orleans 9

The ensuing drive only resulted in a field goal  for the Browns (and a 13-3) lead, but the Browns showed their intentions and eventually won 30-17. No, we're not gonna go drop the Browns off at the Super Bowl, but congratulations to the Mangenius and the Browns for an Onions! play call

Also, I would be remiss if I did not mention the Onions! decision by LSU head coach Les Miles a few weekends ago (October 9th 2010) against the Florida Gators.

Not too long ago, Disney remade Alice in Wonderland (I didn't watch it, so I'm gonna exercise this thing I'm learning about called "self-restraint" and keep all opinions of this movie to myself). I only bring this superb demonstration of cinematic brilliance (tongue firmly in cheek) because of the character the Mad Hatter. I don't know why the executives at Disney sent out a casting call for the Mad Hatter. The real life Mad Hatter resides in Baton Rouge, Louisiana and "coaches" the Louisiana State University Tigers. I use the term "coaches" loosely here because what Miles does on the sideline is closer to letting a drunk fratstar in Las Vegas with his dad's black card than the contemplative, rationale exercise I presume coaching to be.

I'll set the stage for the Mad Hatter's return to glory

• 35 seconds left in the game and LSU trails by 3 points 
• The Tigers face a 4th and 3 from the Florida 35 yard line and need a 53 yard field goal to send the game into overtime
• Field goal kicker Josh Jasper needs to nail this kick, a career long in distance if it happens
• Les Miles has better ideas than leaving this game in the hands (er, feet) of a kicker and reaches into his bag of crazy and produces this magic

Let the record note that the ball BOUNCED on the NO-LOOK heave over the shoulder by the holder before the kicker picked it up (noted). Les Miles knows Onions! A few years ago we did an x-ray of Les Miles and found this:



No wonder this guy is a favorite here at Gimme Some Onions!

(Ok, so we didn't actually do this x-ray, it was made by LSUfreek for one of our favorite blogs "Every Day Should Be Saturday". Original post from EDSBS can be found here)

Also, this isn't the first time that Miles has called this particular fake field goal. Against South Carolina in 2007, Miles dialed up this play call and things ran more smoothly. The kicker received the no-look toss perfectly and ran into the end-zone untouched. Check it out here. To paraphrase one of my favorite lines in Forrest Gump, "Crazy is as crazy does"

Weekend Preview

This weekend features some great games in the English Premier League, College Football and the NFL (note: always the NFL, never the "NATIONAL FOOTBALL LEAGUE" like every annoying ESPN analyst who used to play says it). Here's the rundown:

Arsenal v. Chelsea
Sunday, 11:00 AM EST

We’re basically through 1/5 of the EPL season (matchweek 7 of 38) and this game will have important implications for the rest of the season. League leaders Chelsea return to their home stadium at Stamford Bridge eager to right the ship following their first defeat of the season last week against nouveau riche(st) Manchester City, (shoutout to ESPN's David Hirshey for coining the witty term "nouveau richest". I will be co-opting and using it in the foreseeable future). No, chicken little, the sky is not falling but after tallying 21 goals in 5 matches Chelsea should be concerned that they did not seriously trouble Man City at all last weekend in a 1-0 loss. And it’s not like Man City has an impenetrable back 4 as this Kolo Toure – Joe Hart blunder shows

Meanwhile, Arsenal looks to bring the noise  and pull within one point of Chelsea. Arsenal is nursing an unreal amount of injuries as captain Cesc Fabregas, speed merchant Theo Walcott and brainy defender Thomas Vermaelan are all likely to be out. All of these injuries are problematic for Arsenal, but the Vermaelan one has some humor in it. His unfortunate injury has forced (French) Arsenal manager Arsene Wenger to field an all-French back four of Bacary  Sagna, Laurent Koscielny, Sebastien Squillaci and Gael Clichy. The prospect of four French defenders protecting goal keeper Manuel Almunia is like Lindsay Lohan running a rehab facility: things are supposed to stay out but you'll know they'll get in somehow...

Will Chelsea re-stake a claim to wrapping up the EPL championship by Thanksgiving (and send Arsenal 7 points adrift at the same time)? Will Arsenal stop being a tease and make claims of bringing back their first trophy to the Emirates since 2005 a serious statement? Will I get serious and stop asking questions?

Philadelphia Eagles v. Washington Redskins
Sunday, 4:15 PM EST, Fox

Well, this is awkward. Recently deposed Eagles quarterback Donovan McNabb returns to the city that he helped lead to 4 consecutive NFC championship games and 1 Superbowl (where McNabb's nervousness in the clutch caused this to allegedly happened. Yes, I recycled that link. No, I don’t give a damn). For the first time in his career, McNabb will suit up in the visitor's locker room as a member of the Washington Redskins.

Meanwhile, on the Philadelphia sideline Kevin Kolb, McNabb’s heir apparent, is back to clipboard holding duty after 10 stellar quarters from none other than…

Michael Vick? The Vick experience is back and it’s not Michael Vick as his alter ego Ron Mexico; it’s video game Vick from Madden circa 2003 (What’s the deal with the pseudonym Ron Mexico? Was it because Mike Honcho was already taken?). Through two and a half games this year, Vick has compiled 750 passing yards and 6 TDs versus 0 INTs. Additionally he's run for 170 yards and another TD. Most impressive is Vick's completion percentage is at 61.5%, more than 10% higher than his career completion percentage of 51.4%.

The list of subplots in this game is long and distinguished, like my Johnson

• Will a great game by Donovan McNabb cause the heads of many Eagles faithful to explode after witnessing a result they advocated for years (getting rid of McNabb)  take place (Please God, let this happen. Eagles fans are the worse. Like these guys)
• Will Washington Redskins coach Mike Shanahan ask for the yardage gained to be measured by the tenth? (See the bottom of this post for insight into why I can't stand Shanahan)
• Will Michael Vick continue his unholy alliance with the devil and continue playing out of his cranium? I know I’m tired of asking questions so hopefully this game produces some answers. I'm excited to see this one play out

#9 Stanford versus #4 Oregon
Saturday, 8:00 PM EST, ESPN

This game is a harbinger of things to come for the rest of the college football season. First, no more Cupcake State on the schedule, real programs with real aspirations of a BCS bowl are going to be playing opponents from places you’ve heard of (no more playing “Duke” for you Alabama). Secondly, rivalry games and conference/regional games will dominate the schedule. The first Saturday in October is famous for the Red River Shoot between Texas and Oklahoma (Just broke my vow to pretend that Texas has stopped playing football this year until they stop losing to 21 point underdogs at HOME. FML) Additionally, the whole month of October is filled with equally appetizing rivalries such as Alabama - Florida, LSU - Arkansas and Florida State - Miami to name a few.

Oregon boasts some statistics that are truly laughable on paper. Last week, the Ducks entered their Pac-10 home opener against Arizona State with the #1 scoring offense AND #1 scoring defense in the conference. They did this by playing New Mexico (72-0) and Tennessee (48-13) and Portland state (69-0). That is the football equivalent of handing a smallpox laden blanket to a Native American in the 1600s…

Stanford might be better than we previously thought. Their head coach, Jim Harbaugh, told his team that "no one on the corner has swagga like us" and the Cardinal are playing like it. Stanford scores early and often like they're in a crack den with Amy Winehouse (what happened to her?). So far, they havesteamrolled through their schedule, most notably pounding UCLA 35-0 at UCLA. This is the same UCLA team that beat #7 Texas in Austin last weekend (Ugh. I just broke the “don’t mention Texas football pact” I made with myself again. One more time and I have to get a tattoo of Roseanne on my chest like Tom Arnold. Wait, he didn’t do that because he lost a dare? He was married to her? Damnnnnnn)

Expect the scoreboard to get blown and both teams to be doing it. Doing it allll night long...

Are you ready?

For some football!!!

That Hank Williams, Jr. theme song will always be one the first sounds I think of when I see football. Well, that, and this great mix of ESPN football music (keep this playing in the background while you read; these songs go together with this article like peanut butter and jelly)

Thursday night the New Orleans Saints and the Minnesota Vikings played the first game of the 2010 NFL season which was a snooze-fest of a game. The Saints won 14-9, but this game fell very short last year's NFC Championship Game, which had audiences strapped to their seats because of all the shit-in-your-pants excitement (I know I wasn't the only one, right?) This time around, there wasn't any scoring in the 4th quarter and Minny's lone touchdown of the game occurred in their 2 minute  hurry-up offense right before the half.

The game's marquee names had pedestrian outings by their standards:

• Demi-god Drew Brees (or Breesus) threw for 237 yards and 1 TD with 0 INT. He completed 27/36 passes for a QB rating of 101.7; this marks the 30th time in 64 games that Brees has had a QB rating over 100 for the Saints
• Adrian "Fumbles" Peterson ran for 87 yards on 19 carries (0 TD)
• Brett Favre had the worst game of all the headliners. He only completed 15/27 passes for 1 TD and 1 INT. This great table from ESPN.com sums up his night nicely. Maybe he retired when the Saints sent 5+ rushers and un-retired when they didn't...

	4 rushers or fewer	5 rushers or more
Comp-Att	12-1	3-13
Yards per att.	7.6	5.0
TD-Int	1-0	0-1
Passer rtg.	122.0	15.9

Where do we go from here?

The Vikings head back to the land of Prince and the Revolution for a week 2 showdown against the upstart Miami Dolphins. Vikings fans better hope that Brett Favre stays un-retired the whole game...

Los Santos travel to San Franciso for a Monday night game against the 49ers. Look for better play calling from Saints coach Sean Payton (the Saints only ran the ball 3 times in the 1st half against the Vikes) and a strong showing from a prolific Saints offense.