College Football Season Preview (Part 2)

Yeah, I know it's been more almost three weeks since College Football Season Preview (Part 1). Yeah, I know, I'm a jerk, but I'm also surprised you lived this long without Part 2 in your life; fear no more, the wait is over.

I received some feedback that I didn't have enough defensive players in Part 1, so I'm gonna represent that side of the field more. For the record, defense is like foreplay, it just fills space between business time (aka OFFENSE).

Defense

Marvin Austin, DE/DT, University of North Carolina
Ok, this is a joke. Austin was supposed to anchor an experienced UNC defense that would terrorize the ACC, but he is currently suspended indefinitely for "trips to Florida parties, California training sessions and his work with a tutor". Additionally, Austin is just one of TWELVE UNC players currently suspended for suspected academic and/or extra-curricular violations. Please excuse UNC head coach Butch Davis as he lights himself on fire.

Marcell Dareus, DE, University of Alabama
This is where a pattern starts. Dareus, the defensive MVP of last year's national championship game (hold on a second I just blacked out while trying to suppress memories of an injured Colt McCoy throwing on the sideline as freshman QB Garret Gilbert threw 4 INTs...and, like your crashed gchat, I'm back!!!), was suspended for the first two games of the season for "receiving preferential treatment and agent benefits, including airfare, lodging, meals and transportation during a pair of Miami trips". As a thinner, faster, more athletic Terrence Cody we'll see Dareus wreak havoc for more than 2 snaps a game.


Akeem Ayers, LB, University of California - Los Angeles
Before I started throwing up Exorcist style when Texas fell behind 21 points AT HOME to UCLA last weekend, I was very impressed with Akeem Ayers performance. I don't know how that game ended because I blacked it out (the second theme of this post), but I imagine Ayers continued throwing UT's offensive lineman around like they were rag dolls. Here's my thought process in trying to describe Ayers: Ever seen Transformers? (the cartoon, not those god awful Michael Bay POS films that keep emptying a theater near you) Ever hungered for energon crystals? Then you'll know that  University of California (Berkeley) alum, Marshawn Lynch says it best: Akeem Ayers style is BEAST MODE.

Prince Amukamara, DB, University of Nebraska
I love the name, you need to have a great name and a healthy ego to play defensive back (Deion Sanders anyone?). Also, Prince's name keeps my dream alive that we will live in a society where I can name my kid "Boss" and no one blinks. Boss Miyagi is a name with street cred (and sounds like a Yakuza gang leader). On a more serious note, Amukamara continues Nebraska's tradition of undeniably dominant defensive players can change the tenor of a game with one play (Amukamara takes over for Ndamukong Suh, the 2nd overall pick in last year's NFL draft). Do not throw to his side of the field. Do not even look to his side of the field. And definitely DO NOT say "what?" when he asks you a question...

Offense

A.J. Green, WR, University of Georgia
Consistent with the theme of this preview, Green is serving a 4 match suspension for a practice that takes place everyday in university athletic stores. Check out Mike Wilbon's take on the ridiculous nature of Green's suspension for selling a game-worn jersey on eBay. On the field, Green uses his 6' 4", 210 lb frame to straight up clown defenders...must be the money.

Andrew Luck, QB, Stanford University
I know, I know Part 1 included three QB's, but I gotta show some love to the Stanford stand-out (also this helps show that I don't have an East Coast bias, I toot it and boot it with the West Coast). Putting Luck on this list took a lot of discipline, because really, I hate Luck for being infinitely smarter than me. Not only does Luck get an elite education at Stanford, but Stanford is in an unincorporated city with its own drinking laws, like no open container violations. When Luck isn't throwing 5 TDs a game and embarrassing ACC weaklings (I'm looking at you Wake Forest), he's known to venture to the main quad and get his freak on.

Michael Floyd, WR, University of Notre Dame
Outside of that one week a year when Michael Floyd is singing Michigan's fight song, Hail to the Victors, in his sleep, (I kid, I kid ND fans, go take pictures in front of Touchdown Jesus and feel better about yourself) Floyd is one of the best deep threat receivers in the country. He doesn't get into off the field shenanigans like former teammate Golden Tate did (Who breaks into donut shops at 3 AM? Who does that? Who has time?!?!) and his on the field production is stronger for it. Do your thing young Floyd